maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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