Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
