did you get engaged???
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
