this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
