apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
