i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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