Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
