Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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