i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
