Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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