So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
