i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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