Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
