its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
