Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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