After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
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