K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Drunk is not a location!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
