i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
