Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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