Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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