garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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