I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
