Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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