the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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