they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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