But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
