dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
