batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize