So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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