We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize