So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I currently don't understand fingers.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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