yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
