I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
