He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
