In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
