He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize