We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
