i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just want to make out with him forever
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
