I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
