so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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