There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Someone signed my nipple.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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