he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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