giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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