ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
