I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
