I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
