No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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