I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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