Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
