matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
