Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
