What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I supernannyed him into submission
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
