Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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