Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I will die if light touches me.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
