this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
