So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
