This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
