Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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