I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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