if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize